In a class I teach for adults, I recently did the unpardonable.
近期在我执教的一个成人班级里,我干了一件不可饶恕的事情。
I gave the class homework!考试大平台
我居然给班上的学生布置了一份家庭作业!
The assignment was to go to someone you love within the next week and tell them you love them.
任务是下周之内要走到你所爱的人面前,告诉他们你爱他。
It has to be someone you have never said those words to before
此人需要是一位此前你从未对之说过此话的对象,
or at least haven''t shared those words with for a long time.
或至少很长时间没与他们交流过这类爱意盎然的话语了。
Now that doesn t sound like a very tough assignment, until you sTOP to realize that most of the men were over 35
听起来这不像是一份苛刻的任务,直到你意识到这个班里多数男孩已年逾35岁。
and were raised in the generation of men that were taught that expressing emotions is not macho.
何况在他们成长的那个年代,他们遭到的是如此的灌输:流露情感没阳刚之气。
Showing feelings or crying was just not done.
大家不会随便流露情感和哭泣。
So this was a very threatening assignment for some.
因此对某些人来讲,这是一项让人生畏的任务。
At the beginning of our next class,
第二次上课刚开始http://ks.examda.com
I asked if someone wanted to share what happened when they told someone they loved them.
我就问:当你告诉其他人你爱他/她时,结果如何?有无人想讲一讲?
I fully1 expected one of the women to volunteer6, as was usually the case,
我满心指望像平时一样,某位女性能自告奋勇,
but on this evening one of the men raised his hand.
但这天晚上,一位男性举起了手。
He appeared quite moved and a bit shaken.
他看起来非常受感动的样子,还有一点颤抖。
As he unfolded out of his chair,
当他从座椅上直起身来时,
he began by saying, Dennis, I was quite angry with you last week when you gave us this assignment.
他如此说道:丹尼斯,上周你给大家布置任务时,我非常生你的气。
I didn`t feel that I had anyone to say those words to, and besides,
我觉得我没什么人需要我说那些话,而且,
who were you to tell me to do something that personal8?
你是哪个?凭什么让大家去干这种涉及隐私的事?
But as I began driving home my conscience2 started talking to me.
但我驱车回家时,我的良知开始与我对话。
It was telling me that I knew exactly who I needed to say I love you to.
它告诉我,我确实了解需要向哪个说我爱你'这句话。
You see, five years ago, my father and I had a vicious3 disagreement and really never resolved4 it since that time.
你瞧,5年前,我与爸爸发生了激烈的争执,而且从此再也没消除隔阂。
We avoided seeing each other unless we absolutely had to at Christmas or other family gatherings5.
大家互相回避,除非绝对需要出席圣诞聚会或其他的家庭聚会。
But even then, we hardly spoke6 to each other.
但甚至在那些场所,大家彼此几乎也不说一句话。
So last Tuesday by the time I got home I had convinced7 myself I was going to tell my father I loved him.
因此,上周二到家时,我确信自己做得不对,计划告诉爸爸我爱他。
Its weird8, but just making that decision seemed to lift a heavy load off my chest.
这事儿有点怪怪的,但就是这个决定好像搬走了一块压在我胸口的重石。
When I got home, I rushed into the house to tell my wife what I was going to do. She was already in bed, but I woke her up anyway. When I told her, she didnt just get out of bed, she catapulted out and hugged my, and for the first time in our married life she saw me cry. We stayed up half the night drinking coffee and talking. It was great!
到家的时候,我冲进屋里,想告诉老婆我的计划。当时她已经上床睡了,但我无论怎么样还是叫醒了她。我这样这般告诉她,她不单是起了床,简直就是跳起来拥抱我,结婚以后首次她目睹了我哭泣的样子。那一夜大家品着咖啡说着话一直聊到半夜。这感觉真棒!
The next morning I was up bright and early. I was so excited I could hardly sleep. I got to the office early and accomplished9 more in two hours than I had the whole day before.
第二天一大清早我就起了床。我激动得睡不着觉,提前到办公室上班,两个小时之内就干完了比以前干一整天还要多的活。
At 9:00 I called my dad to see if could come over after work. When he answered the phone, I just said, Dad, can I come over after work tonight? I have something to tell you. My dad responded with a grumpy, Now what? I assured10 him it wouldnt take long, so he finally agreed.
在九点的时候我打电话给爸爸问问能否下班后去看他,当他接电话的时候,我只不过说:父亲,今晚上下班后我能到你什么地方去吗?我有事告诉你。爸爸不耐烦的应答:啥事?我向他保证花不了多久,最后他赞同了。
At 5:30, I was at my parents house ringing the doorbell, praying that Dad would answer the door. I was afraid if Mom answered that I would chicken out and tell her instead. But as luck would have it, Dad did answer the door.
五点半,我就来到爸爸妈妈家摁响了门铃。我暗自祷告父亲会应声开门。害怕假如应声开门的是妈妈,我会因胆怯而对她说出那几个字。终归我的运势好,父亲应声来到门口。
I didnt waste any time I took one step in the door and said, Dad, I just came over to tell you that I love you.
我抓紧时间我一脚跨进门槛说:父亲,我来就是为了特地对你说一声我爱你。
It was as if a transformation11 came over my dad. Before my eyes his face softened12, the wrinkles13 seemed to disappear and he began to cry. He reached out and hugged me and said, I love you too, son, but Ive never been able to say it.
听了这话,父亲好像前后判若两人。只见他脸变得柔和起来,连皱纹好像也消失了,他泣不成声。他伸出手拥抱我说:儿子,我也爱你,但这话以前我从来没能说出口。
It was such a precious moment I didnt want to move. Mom walked by with tears in her eyes. I just waved and blew her a kiss. Dad and I hugged for a moment longer and then I left. I hadnt felt that great in a long time.
这一刻这样宝贵以至于我不想挪动半步。母亲眼睛含泪走过来,我只挥了挥手,给了她一个飞吻。我和爸爸又相拥一会儿,然后我离开了。许久以来,我都没过那样棒的感觉了。
But thats not even my point. Two days after that visit, my dad, who had heart problems, but didnt tell me, had an attack and ended up in the hospital, unconscious. I dont know if he'll make it.
但这并非我说这类的目的。那次上门之后过了两天,我的爸爸他患有心脏病,但没告诉我突发心肌梗塞,结果被送往医院,昏迷不醒。我不知他是不是能挺过去。
So my message to all of you in this is: Dont wait to do the things you know need to be done. What if I had waited to tell my dad maybe I will never get the chance again! Take the time to do what you need to do and do it now!
所以我要忠告全班同学的是:假如你了解有的事情需要做的话,千万不要等。如果我等到将来再对爸爸说我爱你那句话会如何呢或许我永远没机会了!抓紧时间去干你需要干的事情,目前就好动!