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动物笑话|The Captive

来源:www.tiantaiwang.com 2024-05-03
DAY 752
My captors continue to taunt1 me with bizarre little dangling2 objects. They dine lavishly3 on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
DAY 761
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. I must try this at the TOP of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repel4 these vile5 oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit6 on their favourite chair ... must try this on their bed.
DAY 765
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended7 about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm ... Not working according to plan.
DAY 768
I am finally aware of how sadistic8 they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy9 chemical called shampoo. What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation10 is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 770
There was some sort of gathering11 of their accomplices12. I was placed in solitary13 throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul14 odour of the glass tubes they call beer. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement15 was due to MY power of allergies16. Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 773
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time ...


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