Three old men were sitting around talking about who had the worst health problems.
The seventy-year-old said, Have I got a problem. Every morning I get up at 7:30 and have to take a piss, but I have to stand at the toilet for an hour, 'cause my pee barely1 trickles2 out.
Heck, that's nothing, said the eighty year old. Every morning at 8:30 I have to take a shit, but I have to sit on the can for hours because of my constipation. It's terrible.
The ninety-year-old said, You guys think you have problems! Every morning at 7:30 I piss like a racehorse, and at 8:30 I shit like a pig.
The trouble with me is, I don't wake up till eleven.