While Ive often talked about the importance of being aware of your posture1 at the table, I am giving hand placement its own section in order to emphasize its importance in signaling your intentions to others.
虽然我常常谈到知道餐桌礼仪的重要程度,但为了强调手在向其他人表明意图时的重要程度,我专门撰文来谈谈手的摆放方位。
As we all know, Hands up! is among the first things a police officer says when he has a criminal in range. In that instance, the police officers goal is to ensure he or she doesnt have a concealed2 weapon.
大家都了解,警察发现一名罪犯后说的第一句话便是:举起手来!。 这样的情况下,警察是为了确保他/她没携带隐蔽的武器。
More happily, raising our hand is also the symbol of knowing the correct answer in grade school, or signaling our willingness to volunteer for activities as we get older. When you are seated at a table, your hands perform much the same function. They allow others at the table to feel safe around you, and they signal to others that you are available and excited to answer their questions, or volunteer for their cause.
叫人轻松点的例子也有:在学校里举手表明了解正确的答案。长大后,举手表示志愿参加某项活动。当你坐在桌子旁时,你的手也有同样的功能。它们可以让在坐的别的人和你在一块时有安全感,而且还在向其他人表示你有空、并乐于回答他们的提问、或者想参与他们的事业。
But, some clients object, I tend to talk with my hands if theyre on the table. Isnt that bad?
有的顾客反对说:但,假如我把手放在桌子上就容易边讲话边做手势,这不会糟糕吗?
Not at all if those motions are a natural outgrowth of what you are saying. They only become distracting when they are doing something to relieve you of nervous tension, such as tapping a pencil or fiddling3 with a wedding ring, etc.
假如那些动作是你谈话的自然衍生,那样就一点也不糟糕。只有当你在做某些缓解紧张情绪的活动的时候(比如:敲铅笔、摆弄结婚戒指)才会叫人分心。
So if your goal is to inspire trust in others, one of the easiest ways to do that is to keep your hands where people can see them. once theyre on the table, my request is that they remain unclasped, as clasping your hands in front of you creates a barrier between you and those to whom you are speaking.
所以假如你的目的是让其他人信赖你,最简单的办法之一就是把手放在大家能看见的地方。一旦把手放在桌子上,我的需要是手不要握在一块,由于紧握双手会在你和谈话方之间形成障碍。
The same principle holds true if you are standing4. When you want others to trust you, keep your hands out of your pockets. Leaving them in sight will signal your honorable, or favorable, intentions. Alternatively, putting your hands in your pockets will send a message of distrust or unavailabilitynot to mention ruin the line of your suit.
假如你是站着的,也是同样的道理。假如你想让其他人信赖你,把手从口袋中拿出来。放在其他人看得见的地方会表示出你尊敬并同意别人的意图。而把双手放在口袋里则会发出不信赖、没空等讯息更别说还会破坏西装的线条了。